“Sarge, I’m Scared.” “Don’t Worry, We All Get Scared”: A Squad Leader In Vietnam In The 173rd Airborne Brigade

Sa Won Chang was born in Seoul, Korea, in March 1947, and in December of that year, his father was assassinated due to political rivalries. During the Korean War, when Sa Won was three, his family evacuated south to Pusan (Busan). He recalls crossing the Han River during the retreat, falling into the water when their boat capsized, and being rescued by a family worker. Growing up in post-war Seoul, he was deeply moved by stories of combat told by family workers who were veterans, as well as the sight of US military hospitals and Soldiers. As a child, he bought military surplus gear and dug foxholes in his front yard. Sa Won's mother was a highly respected educator and administrator in South Korea, who had been educated in the United States and taught at the Ewha Woman’s University before serving as the principal of a prestigious girls’ high school, the Kyunggi Girl’s School. When Sa Won was 15, in 1962, he immigrated to the United States. He lived with a family friend in Minnesota, learned English, and became an undefeated high school wrestler before graduating in 1966. Shortly after graduating, he volunteered for the draft, driven by a deep, lifelong desire to be a soldier, which was shaped by his childhood experiences. His impressive math scores prompted his recruiter to urge him to select missile maintenance school, but Sa Won refused, stating that he wanted to go to Vietnam as an airborne infantryman. He conducted basic training at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, and despite the physical and mental demands of military initiation, he had an extremely positive and successful experience. He found that his conditioning as a wrestler helped with the physical aspects of basic training, and he enjoyed marksmanship. He describes the cadre as tough but very fair. At one point, based on his excellent performance, his First Sergeant rewarded him and a few other top trainees with a weekend trip to a “US Army Hotel” at the Lake of the Ozarks. To his amusement, the “hotel” turned out to be GP Medium tents with cots. Even so, he thoroughly enjoyed the rest, relaxation, and food. At the end of his basic training cycle, his company commander selected him to attend a drill sergeant school at Fort Ord, California. He spent three intense weeks training in drill and ceremony, which launched his track toward military leadership. He completed Advanced Infantry Training (AIT) at Fort Lewis, Washington, where he served as a trainee platoon sergeant, taking leadership of a platoon of over 50 other trainees. Airborne School followed, and Sa Won enjoyed the training, especially the 250-foot tower. He remembers that when he felt the “opening jerk” of the parachute, he knew he wanted to serve a career in the Airborne, and over the course of his 26-year military career, he completed over 1,000 jumps, including a high-altitude 25,000-foot HALO jump with oxygen. As Sa Won was preparing to deploy to Vietnam, he returned home for two weeks of leave and took a temporary job working for the fertilizer company he had previously worked for, embodying his personal ethic of hard work. After his leave finished, he flew from New Jersey to Bien Hoa Airbase in his Class A uniform with spit-shined jump boots. When he landed, he was immediately reminded of war-torn Korea, seeing the devastation and how the people were living. After being assigned to the 173rd, he completed the brigade’s jungle school before being air-lifted out to the field where he joined 3rd Platoon, A Company, 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry. He spent his entire tour in Vietnam in the field, rarely returning to base camps. He describes moving out on patrols every morning, conducting reconnaissance or ambushes, reaching an objective, and immediately digging fortified foxholes with overhead cover for the night. He recalls that at night, it looked “like everything is moving.” Sa Won emphasizes “leadership by example.” As a squad leader, he took on the hardest tasks (like digging positions and carrying extra mortar ammunition) to protect and gain the trust of his men (they were “like my chicks”). He provides a specific example of carrying mortar ammunition. Every morning, each squad was responsible for reporting to the mortar platoon to pick up their allocation of mortar rounds. Sa Won knew that some rounds were lighter than others, and he instructed his Soldiers to get to the mortars early and request the lighter rounds. His peers knew that he was doing this, but they were less motivated and did not get to the mortar position as early as Sa Won’s Soldiers did. He describes an incident where the South Vietnamese Soldiers (ARVN) thought that he was part of the South Korean Tiger Division and offered to let him take beer and rations back to his unit, which, of course, he did. He suffered from a case of falciparum malaria, which he first noticed as a persistent blister while feeling weak, dizzy, and feverish. When he began talking to himself, he was evacuated to the 6th Convalescence Hospital in Cam Ranh Bay, where the doctors waited to treat him until they could specifically identify the strain of malaria he was suffering from. Every time his fever spiked, they drew blood and put him in a cold shower. Eventually, they prescribed pills, which cured him. During his month-long stay in the hospital, LT Quinn (the company XO) visited, which buoyed his spirits. Worried about being reassigned from the 173rd, Sa Won took the opportunity to tell him, “Hey, I want to be with you guys. Don't send me away.” Sa Won describes the two times he was wounded. First, in early March 1968, near Kon Tum, his squad was bringing up the rear of the patrol, and Sa Won was pulling rear security. At a halt, he took off his helmet to sit on it, and as he was sitting there, he felt what he thought was a rock hitting his head. He quickly turned and said, “You son of a...” thinking someone had thrown something at him. When he realized that no one was there, he put his hand to his head, and it was covered in blood. He went to the medic to get bandaged, and instead was evac’d to Pleiku for a head x-ray and stitches. About two weeks later, on March 26, 1968, Sa Won’s squad was leading the patrol with Johnny Cavanaugh walking point, Johnny Wanamaker as the slack man, and Sa Won as the third in line, “when hell broke loose.” Johnny Wanamaker flopped down on his butt, said “Sarge, I’m hit,” and was killed by a burst of machine gun fire. Sa Won was also wounded, a bullet breaking his leg. He had to slam his leg down to straighten out the bone, but he was not feeling any pain, and he began to crawl to the rear. As Sa Won was crawling back, he saw a new Soldier who said, “Sarge, I’m scared,” and Sa Won told him, “We all get scared,” and to follow him out because artillery was going to be coming in soon. Sa Won’s gear and weapon kept getting caught on tanglefoot, so he threw it ahead of him as he crawled. After 50 or 100 meters, he arrived at the main platoon position behind a little knoll, and his Platoon Leader LT Doan hollered, “Come on, Chang. Come on, Chang.” Sa Won found new reserves of strength and “like a frog, just jumped over the knoll.” He was not behind the knoll long before his big machine gunner picked him up, threw him over his shoulder, and ran him back to the medics. Sa Won recalls the professionalism and humor of the medics who treated him and helped put him at ease. Back at the casualty collection point, he saw the scared new Soldier who approached him crying and apologizing for his behavior. The Soldier said, “Sarge, I’m sorry,” and Sa Won replied “No, you ain't got nothing to be sorry about. You are new. We all have fears.” Sa Won encouraged him, saying “I'm glad you're back here. I'll see you later,” before he was airlifted out by helicopter. The terrain was covered in so much vegetation that the troops had to cut down trees to allow a helicopter to get close enough for them to lift Sa Won and two others to the hovering helicopter. He was taken to the 71st Evac Hospital, where he initially encountered problems because one of the medics conducting triage thought he was a POW, but the crew chief said, “No, he’s US.” Later several officers also thought he was a POW. Eventually, in every ward he was taken to, as he was brought in, it was announced, “He is a US sergeant.” Sa Won was eventually evacuated through Camp Zama, Japan, to Fitzsimons Hospital in Denver, where his recovery took eight months. In December 1968, he was released from the hospital and received his US citizenship (for service in the military). Because of his injury, he was assigned to an ordnance company in Korea. He was unhappy serving in ordnance and ended up at a KATUSA (Korean Augmentation to the United States Army) training school teaching English. From there, he transitioned to Special Forces, completing the Q-Course and Operations / Intelligence training. He enjoyed the challenging training. Once he qualified for Special Forces, he started in D Company, 7th Group from 1970 to 1972 before being assigned to 1st Battalion, 1st Group in Okinawa from 1972 to 1974. In 1974, he was assigned to 10th Group at Ft. Devens, Massachusetts, before traveling overseas in 1976 to the United Nations Command in Korea, where he served until 1980. He was working in the command center during periods of heightened tension, especially following the North Korean Axe Murder incident at the DMZ in 1976. In 1980, he was assigned to ROTC at the University of Southern Colorado, where he organized a marathon and developed innovative field training (including “Chang’s aircraft”). He returned to Korea in 1982, serving there for the next 10 years, first with the US Special Forces Detachment, and in 1986 transitioning to Special Operations Korea until his retirement in 1992. Because of his native fluency and deep understanding of Korean culture, he spent his final decade of active duty as a valuable liaison between US Special Forces and South Korean Special Operations, working closely with Medal of Honor recipient Colonel Robert Howard. After retiring, he worked briefly in real estate and then spent seven years with the US Postal Service as a truck driver and supervisor. Sa Won describes actively struggling with post-traumatic stress. In 2017, he made a solo trip back to Vietnam to confront his past. He visited the battlefields of Kon Tum and Dak To, and a local orphanage to make a financial donation in memory of those he had killed during the war. As he was preparing to leave Vietnam, the skies opened up and a pouring rain fell on him. As the rain washed over him, he thought, “Come on, clean all this for me,” and he was finally able to come home. This pilgrimage brought him immense personal closure and peace. At the end of the interview, he reflects on his service, stating that his military service represents “Duty, Honor, Country.” He feels deep pride in serving the United States and emphasizes that true military service is about serving the nation selflessly, regardless of personal benefits. He describes the importance of attending reunions, declaring, “I knew them in Vietnam as a true person.”